Kingmaker Adventure Path

Session 2 (Forbidden Fae Love & Pig****ers)

The adventure had everything: foul mouth bandits, back-breaking hole digging, a fabulous snake hat, Kobold trappers selling a mostly dead badger, and a stoned man trying to smash imaginary pixies with a hammer. The quest started innocent enough, outside the Cow’s rented house on the morning the group departed for the stolen lands. The Knight Commander brought with him the extra horses and gear promised along with two adventurers who didn’t quite make the cut for the other three charter groups. They where a goblin ranger (Will) and a human inquisitor (Dan,) the party accepted there help and they soon were on the road. Little did they know of the oddity that awaited them at Oleg’s Trading post?

The trip was rather uneventful; they arrived at Oleg’s post about two weeks later. The group was welcomed by the post’s two owners, Oleg Leveton and his lovely wife Svetlana. The couple greeted them warmly and asked if they where the adventurers the city promised to sent to sort out there bandit extortionist problem. As it turns out, the camp has had it wares stolen by local thugs from the nearby Greenbelt on the last day of the month and they had written letters to Restov for aid. When the happy couple where informed there party wasn’t here to help them but to explore and chart the stolen lands they became a good deal less happy. Oleg cursed quietly and went off to do some work and Svetlana was clearly dismayed and pleaded with the party disparately to help. At first the party agreed to help in exchange for 20% of the trade post for as long as it’s operational. Svetlana was not receptive of there extorting offer so the group went out of ear shot to discuss the issue at length.

After a long and tedious talk it was decided that they would indeed help and they came up with a plan of action. They would dig a massive 10 foot deep pit trap in the center of the trading post and Oleg would lead the criminals on top if it. Once they where all situated, a rope would be pulled and the bandits would fall to there deaths. For at the bottom of the pit would be sharpened poison covered wooded stakes and alchemist’s fire. They had two and a half days to set it up, with the bandits arriving sometime on day three. Day one was fairly uneventful, with the warriors stuck with a lot of digging and sharpening of wood. Day two was when things started to go astray.

On day two they had a nice breakfast and when it was off to digging for 12 hours for two of the parity members. The ranger and inquisitor went off to hunt for poisonous creatures to get the poison need for the spikes while the Magus went in side the main house with a wicked plan to make Oleg more receptive to his part as “human bait” in the group plan. The ranger first tried to hunt in the stable but all he got was a small non-venomous spider (which he promptly put in a pickle jar) and his boots covered in horse dung. He took the inquisitor with him for his next attempt. They quickly tracked a small nest of poisonous snakes underneath a broken and overturned wagon. One snake was sunning himself on a rock outside the nest. The two adventurers killed the snake easily with a quick barrage of arrows and the goblin clams his prize, a severed snake head which he took as a stylish new hat. However, shit got real when three more snakes emerge from the nest. The brave champions of Restov decided to make a tactical withdraw and were chased by the rampaging serpents for almost half a mile. The two decided not to tell the rest of the parity of there shameful retreat.

Meanwhile, in the Legion of Doom! (The Trade post). The Magus successfully found Oleg’s stash of triple X rum which he proceeded to spike with enough opium to kill a troll. He also but some opium in the wine he found close to the run and in Oleg’s tobacco. Later, after the hunter’s had returned, a small group of kobold trapper arrived to sell there animal skins and one mostly dead badger to Oleg for there usual fee. Before Oleg could great them the goblin ranger, who just so happened to speak draconic, stroke up a conversion and soon became fast friends. The kobolds greatly admired his snake hat and assumed he was a mighty clan leader. When Oleg arrived he was less then pleased to see them or there dubious wares. He took everything but the badger and give them each a silver coin for the trouble. Also, as per there previous arrangement, he agreed to give them free food and drink in addition to there monetary compensation. As always, the kobolds were to drink his best stock: “XXX Dwarven Fire Rum.”

Dinner was soon served, a three course meal of bear meat with Rum for the kobold and lemonade for everyone else. The goblin was of course invited to join the kobold in drinking “the good stuff,” as befitting a man of his great rank. The goblin ranger was moved by there generosity and announced to Svetlana (who was serving them) that he would gladly pay extra so his companions could drink rum too. Everyone was served the spiked rum and everyone, save the Magus, partook in the fine Dwarven alcohol. Svetlana poured some of the rum in a serving pitcher for the guest to drink and took the rest of the jug in the main house for Oleg. A few minutes later, after the group at the guest table where properly “refreshed”. Yelling and loud banging could be heard coming from the main house, where Oleg and his wife where dining. The Magus was the first to investigate. He discovered the room in complete disarray; with Svetlana hiding underneath the dinner table weeping and Oleg wildly swinging a hammer yelling “Get away from me you vile pixies; I do no want your forbidden love!” The Magus tried to disarm him but took a hit to the forehead for his efforts. The Magus was able to eventually subdue Oleg and handcuffed him to a chair. The Magus then returned back to the table to report his findings. After hearing about the rampaging pixies the fighter (James) ran to the house to slay the creatures. He soon returned proclaiming himself victorious. It was around this time that the goblin agreed to share his snake hat with his new kobold brethren. As soon as the hat was placed on a kobold he declared himself clan chief, grabbed the picture of rum and attempted a hasty escape. The goblin and other kobold give chase, each desiring the sweet sweet rum for their own. The goblin was caught but ended up spilling the rum when he dropped the severing picture. The kobold continued running aimlessly through the camp while the goblin fell instantly asleep, exhausted from his efforts and the rum. Soon after, the rest of the group retired to the guest house.

The next day the bandits came, as expected. Luckily, there was enough time to put the finishing touches on their trap pit before they arrived. Unluckily, Oleg was in no condition to fulfill his role as human bait. That morning, the Magus found Oleg right where he left him; handcuffed to the dinning room chair. When Oleg refused to play his part due to his being violated by malicious fey creatures the Magus beat him unconscious with a chair. That awoke his wife; together they carried him to the bed where the inquisitor could heal him. The party then held a sword to Oleg throat and threatened to kill Oleg if he didn’t help with there plan. This sent his wife into a hysterical rage. She had to be sealed in bedroom and the party was forced to proceed with the plan without the couples help. Even with this major setback the party made short work of the bandit leader, his followers, and his four bloodhounds. The bandit lead was suspicious to be greeted by the camp’s new stable hand, the Magus in disguise, but they blundered into the simple trap all the same. The leader was able to nimbly jump out of the way just in the nick of time but most of his dogs were not so lucky. The dogs died on the spikes while the alchemist fire roasted them, soon the smell of roasted dog fill the trading post. Caught off guard the surviving bandits where put down with minimal effort. The leader was some what of a challenge, yelling insults and dropping a party member before being slain in one hit with a vicious blow.

Once that was sorted, the group went back to the main house to check on the couple and report there victory. Oleg and his wife where glad to hear of the bandits but were obviously unhappy by the mistreatment they befell at the hands of there supposed heroes. Thinly veiling there outage, they offer the party free room and food for as long as they require it. They also encouraged the group to start there mission as soon as possible.

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